so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
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