Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
