You surviving the open bar?
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I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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