All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
