you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Your penis caused this!
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