Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
