i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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