your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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