you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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