Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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