i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
