I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
