Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
