I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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