I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
