she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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