After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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