You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
