she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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