You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
