guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
