There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
