and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up under a house in Key West
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
