Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
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Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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