he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
