Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
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Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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