he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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