Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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