i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
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Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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