Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
