I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
