dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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