hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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