who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
