Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
