Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i don't like sucking hair
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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