I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
