I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
