My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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