maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
