Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
