How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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