And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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