She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize