I feel like I'm in dance class right now
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Farmville is her only friend.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
