He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
