I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
