I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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