I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
