We named our party play list daddy issues
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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