butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
