Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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