Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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