Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
