and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Randomize
