I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
