Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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