i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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