2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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