I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
