i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
