Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
