She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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