We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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